So whatchya been up to?

Recently, when meeting up with friends I haven’t seen in awhile, I’m asked this question. It’s never been a hard question for me, I’ve always been moving somewhere, getting a job, going on a trip, starting something new.

But lately not much has been ‘up’. Veri-husband and I have just been getting on getting on. We have a house we love, good jobs that keep us busy but make us happy, and we’ve been cutting back on spending so trips have been off the table.

Sometimes I feel like I should be doing more. Have I become complacent? Boring? Dare I say…settled?

But instead of looking for the next adventure, the next set of plans to talk about to friends, I’m working on being happy with exactly where I am.

I recently finished reading Light Comes Through by Dzigar Kongtrul, and he talks about the westerners dependence on the next thing bringing them happiness. As soon as I do, buy, eat something, I’m already looking for what’s next, convincing myself that it’s the next thing that will bring me fulfillment and happiness. And it does, but it fades almost as soon as it’s consumed, and immediately my mind begins to wander to the next.

These days I’ve been focusing on just enjoying what is around me. Walking my dogs, sitting in a patch of sunlight eating lunch, playing scrabble with my husband. It’s not always easy, and I get pangs of longing when I hear of others’ adventures and ups and downs, but there is something nice in just being steady.

What would Buddha do?

As I mentioned perviously, I have a vague plan of including posts about my study of Tibetan Buddhism, and possibly start a second blog about what I’m learning.

I struggled, though, with how to begin. A rundown of what I do at my local center? Take a page from What Makes You Not a Buddhist to talk about some of the more practical stuff?

I’ve decided I’m going to write about what I see as a definition of Buddhism. In short, a layman, ex-Catholic’s view of it.

Essentially, Buddhism is about ego, and ridding yourself of all the things related to your ego. Sounds simple? It is, until you start to look at how our ego has a starring role in every decision we make, every emotion we feel, and every despair we suffer. Suffering is another big concept in Buddhism, because by getting rid of all the attachments we have associated with our ego, we can focus on relieving the suffering of others.

Lineages in Tibetan Buddhism focus on either practice or study. The lineage I have been studying under is Karma Kagyu, which focuses on practice. Practice, as I see it, involves meditating, especially samatha, or ‘calm abiding’ meditation. Essentially, samatha is quieting your mind, striving to quiet your thoughts so that you live – even briefly – in the moments between those racing thoughts we live with. Once they’ve calmed, you can find some peace and start to shed your ego.

I think I’ll keep it simple for my first post. Because I think it’s important, as I take you with me on my journey, to always remember the basic idea that happiness comes when we find a way to rid ourselves of our ego, our need to almost inherently put our emotional and physical self front and center all the time, to give into the wild buzzing of thoughts that constantly play through our minds a break whenever possible.